Life Ambition? Hermit.

tarvek-sturmvoraus

spandexinspace

I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world's largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.

foxgirlsounds

pov: you’ve been transported to the 17th century

uvradical

#in the article it says that the sailboat sailors were concerned because they could not be towed quickly because of the kind of boat#so they asked Götheborg what type of ship they were and warned that they would not be able to go above a certain speed#and götheborg went ' we are also a sailboat. 50 meters length. no worries :) '#and the poor sailboat sailors were just like ' That's not possible. they have to be messing with us' and then the ship Rolled Up (via bunjywunjy)

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New fear unlocked for Masterchef contestants:

When the Chocolate Guy (Amaury Guichon) sets the challenge!

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I recognize that this is MASTERchef, so the contestants, especially this far in, are actually very good chefs but Amaury really woke up and chose violence huh.

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Do it for her

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elidyce

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You have proof that the universe is a computer simulation. Instead of telling the world about your discovery, you exploit bugs in the simulation to teleport and clone yourself.

elidyce

Oh, no, cloning yourself is NEVER a good idea. There are a number of books, movies, comic books etc that explore all the ways THAT can go wrong.

Better ideas:

- Enable ‘healing aura’ on yourself and make a fortune as a faith healer adhering to some really random deity.

- Edit a lot of wild new hair and eye colours into the human genome and watch the world get more colourful.

- Use teleport to break into a ton of museums, vaults etc. Don’t steal anything, just take pictures of a toy penguin in situ and run the most bafflingly thrilling Instagram ever.

- Figure out how to edit other people, then take the genitalia of the very rich hostage until they give all their money to a) the poor, b) you, c) environmental conservation or d) all of the above.

- Revive extinct species in really unlikely places just to watch the scientists flip their shit.

- Give yourself telekinesis and just go wild with it.

- Use ‘teleport’ and ‘glow’ to convince people you are an angelic visitor and give them a stern talking to.

- Create an ‘infinite coffee’ exploit and drive Starbucks into the ground.

- Be the best stage magician who has ever lived.

homunculus-argument

One thing that's always fun to write is the "well, yes, but actually no" kind of cultural misunderstandings. The things about a people that aren't exactly incorrect, but the grain of truth in them is worded so weirdly that the statement itself is completely wrong.

For the Unfinished Book, I had a random idea of a nomadic people who keep dogs, and choose their leader by an informal public vote - while there's ceremonies involved in aknowledging the new leader, and often the new chief is the offspring of a previous one, the real leader of a clan is simply the one that most people agree should be the one to lead. They also famously rever their dogs so much that people like to say that even the dogs get to vote on who the new chief should be - or even that they let the dogs choose the leader, and the people themselves have no say in the matter at all.

If one of the nomads themselves is asked about it, they'll respond with a deeply confused, mildly offended look and contradicting answers. Some say that of course the dogs don't influence choices like that, and some will say that of course the dogs' opinions are taken into consideration. Outsiders get the idea that whatever the truth is, half of the nomads are blatantly lying to cover it up, for some reason or another. But technically speaking, neither of the contradicting stands is wrong.

The matter is, the dogs aren't making the choices of who should lead the clan. They do, however, observe whom the people themselves regard as a leader. As social pack animals bred and raised alongside humans, they can tell by body language whom people actually respect and yield to, and what the dogs do and whom they obey is a visible indicator of the clan's unspoken common opinion.

If a clan chief dies, his son can try to fashion himself into the next chief and command people around, but people observe that the dogs look to his mother for her permission to obey him when he orders them to move, everyone in the clan knows who's really calling the shots. The people won't follow a leader whom the dogs don't obey, because the dogs don't respect a leader whom the people don't respect.

homunculus-argument

One thing that’s always fun to write is the “well, yes, but actually no” kind of cultural misunderstandings. The things about a people that aren’t exactly incorrect, but the grain of truth in them is worded so weirdly that the statement itself is completely wrong.

For the Unfinished Book, I had a random idea of a nomadic people who keep dogs, and choose their leader by an informal public vote - while there’s ceremonies involved in aknowledging the new leader, and often the new chief is the offspring of a previous one, the real leader of a clan is simply the one that most people agree should be the one to lead. They also famously rever their dogs so much that people like to say that even the dogs get to vote on who the new chief should be - or even that they let the dogs choose the leader, and the people themselves have no say in the matter at all.

If one of the nomads themselves is asked about it, they’ll respond with a deeply confused, mildly offended look and contradicting answers. Some say that of course the dogs don’t influence choices like that, and some will say that of course the dogs’ opinions are taken into consideration. Outsiders get the idea that whatever the truth is, half of the nomads are blatantly lying to cover it up, for some reason or another. But technically speaking, neither of the contradicting stands is wrong.

The matter is, the dogs aren’t making the choices of who should lead the clan. They do, however, observe whom the people themselves regard as a leader. As social pack animals bred and raised alongside humans, they can tell by body language whom people actually respect and yield to, and what the dogs do and whom they obey is a visible indicator of the clan’s unspoken common opinion.

If a clan chief dies, his son can try to fashion himself into the next chief and command people around, but people observe that the dogs look to his mother for her permission to obey him when he orders them to move, everyone in the clan knows who’s really calling the shots. The people won’t follow a leader whom the dogs don’t obey, because the dogs don’t respect a leader whom the people don’t respect.

Life Ambition? Hermit. — I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg,...

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